It's Me, or you.

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity.
Sitting alone in New York City,
And I don't know why.

Are we listening to hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that I've been reading,
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high and I step to the edge,
To see the world below.
And I laugh at myself as the tears roll down,
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

I'm not walking on the streets of New York but this song means to me, in this season. Because I'm reminded that this is the world I know. It's the only one I know now, but I await a new one.

God gave me an answer to every question I had in my head - In the gentlest, kindest way, with a full dose of mercy that came along. It was rather direct and I took heed because my spirit fell quiet. Then the tears came. It was just a moment, but His voice spoke louder than I heard.

"When I stand, You can't stand. It's Me, or you."

I knew I had to choose, and things that have been happening suddenly pieced together, naturally, instantly. My heart wasn't quite ready to make up its mind then but as the weekend progressed, God poured something new and refreshing into my heart.

He loves. He loves, a people undeserving.

I didn't mean for it to show, but I'm glad it did. Because one of my dear girls gave me something I'm holding so close to my heart, right now. Thank you again Zoe. In the simplest of ways, with just one out of eight, a new Joy flowed through my spirit :)

My weekend in church was filled with unexpected surprises. I really don't know how to capture my thoughts but I felt a release of burden and a new surge of Joy. I hope I don't lose it, not any time soon.

Thank you Ministry Cell, for lifting my spirits and for sharing so openly in cell. I've been learning and feeding upon what we as leaders are experiencing. Thank you for our first cell dinner cum extremely crazy cell outing as well :) Here's to first incomplete cell photos! (Cell leaders; Adelyn and Isaac Peter, Calvin Kang, Isaac Quah, Shawn Tan and Quek Shi Wei are missing.)

And this was all but merely my first week of the holidays. What's next? Oh yes, I've been termed "Long-term Volunteer" in Riverlife Kindergarten, I like :) Though it has only been six and a half hours spent with the little ones, I've not lost the heart and love for them. Here's to plenty more hours with them!

Please, don't stop surprising me.